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Diamantino

Country: Portugal | France | Brazil, Language: Portuguese, 92 mins

  • Director: Gabriel Abrantes; Daniel Schmidt
  • Writer: Gabriel Abrantes; Daniel Schmidt
  • Producer: Maria João Mayer; Justin Taurand

CGiii Comment

Gargantuan fluffy puppies and footballers...not something you see every day!

Tighten your jockstraps...because, Diamantino is one-of-a-kind and one-helluva-ride. And...one great big piss-take on the beautiful game!

John Lennon once said that The Beatles were bigger than Jesus Christ...if he hadn't delivered a rather hasty and emphatic apology..his & Co's careers might have irreversibly slumped. How times have changed!

Football is the new religion [well, to be honest, in modern times...it has always been more popular and evoked more passion than that stuffy old religious guff]. This [usually male] adoration for an over-paid, ball-kicking [male] goon has always been a cause of great amusement and confusion [to gay men]. Straight men lusting over a bunch of men in shorts...if they had the opportunity...how many do you think would allow [and love] being buggered by their ball-kicking idols...it's all so damn gay!

And...so is this film! Well, not entirely...this footballer swings both ways in the 'biblical sense'...because, he's a goddamn virgin! Hysterical.

Carloto Cotta does a ball-kicking-beauty-with-no-brains to a tee...he's a fairy-tale Prince Charming, complete with two evil money-grabbing-cum-laundering sisters. He's trusting and loving and caring and adorably stupid. He makes hearts melt and straight willies stiff!

Gabriel Abrantes & Daniel Schmidt have thrown [absolute] madness at the screen...and, the clever thing is...it's both scalding and scathing...nothing quite like an insult when it's all packaged with glitter and bows.

Yes...it - most definitely - will go over the ball-kicking fans' heads...but, by god, did these filmmakers take aim? They sure did...and shot it straight right into the back of the net!

Brilliant...and, chilling [even with fluffy puppies]!


Trailer...

The(ir) Blurb...

Diamantino, the world's premiere soccer star loses his special touch and ends his career in disgrace. Searching for a new purpose, the international icon sets on a delirious odyssey where he confronts neo-fascism, the refugee crisis, genetic modification, and the hunt for the source of genius.

Cast & Characters

Carloto Cotta as Diamantino Matamouros
Cleo Tavares as Aisha Brito
Anabela Moreira as Sonia Matamouros
Margarida Moreira as Natasha Matamouros
Carla Maciel as Dr. Lamborghini
Chico Chapas as Chico Matamouros
Hugo Santos Silva as Mouro
Joana Barrios as Minister Ferro
Filipe Vargas as Helena Guerra
Maria Leiteas Lucia
Manuela Moura Guedes as Gisele
Djucu Dabo as Refugee Woman
Leandro Vieira as Goalkeeper
Due to the massive amounts of spam we receive, the comments section is curated...so, no spam, no swearing, nothing unrelated to the film...they just won't be published! Time is precious, let's not waste it!

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