Hide and Seek

Obviously...Joanna Coates went away on some drama/team-building course and her over-active imagination went - unfortunately - into over-drive and later produced this unimaginative pot-pourri of p(r)issy pretension.

More improvised than scripted...4 actors (not characters, you can tell they are acting) isolate themselves in a rather lovely cottage in a rather lovely part of the country and play...silly games and - lo and behold - with each others' bits.

Polyamorous...it's never been so dull. Oooh just stop acting 'acting' for 1 minute!

Before you get to the juicy bits...you wil have to contend with numerous skyscapes, landscapes...with no escape from the downright drudgery shown on screen...accompanied by a deafening soundtrack of rather lovely music.

And...when the juicy bits do arrive...don't blink, you'll miss them. And even if you do manage to espy them between your intermittent slumbering...what an anti-climax! Unsimulated, explicit sex...that's how they sold this film - it's the only way they could get bums on seats...and those seats were soon to be bumless. What a fraud!

What a debut...anyone could have made this...with a semi-decent camera, a loudspeaker, a few keen-to-get-their-kit-off amateur actors...and, a mountainous dollop of excruciating self-indulgence.

Some have called this a relaxing film...it is. Sound asleep in next to no time.

Trailer...