- Director: Alexa Bakony
- Writer: Alexa Bakony; Marianna Rudas
- Producer: Gabor Osvath; Ildiko Szucs
Be warned: A massive amount of hair dye was used in the making of this film.
Tobi changes their mind more times than they change the colour of their hair. Tobi is fortunate, Tobi has absolutely amazing parents. That's enough about Tobi...because Tobi will have you pulling your hair out rather than dying it. How their mother still has a full head of hair is testament to her inexhaustible parenting skills.
Having a lesbian then trans then non-binary child is a challenge...on so many levels. Societal, intellectual and financial are just a few of the inherent issues that have to be considered and, if possible, dealt with. Societal...well, you ain't gonna change everyone's mind, especially not in a small traditional village in Hungary [a country not noted for its homo/trans friendliness]. Intellectual...even the most educated still have 'problems' with trans, gender and non-binary...with a limited education Tobi's mother tries her best to understand...but, never compromises her support. Financial...transition can be costly and the process is time consuming - not just the transition itself but the process to arrange all the components necessary to transition...this cash-strapped, out-of-work mother does everything she can...to make ends meet!
If anything...this is not a film about Tobi, this is about their incredible mother - she deals with everything...all awhile keeping Tobi at the centre of her world - who firmly resides in the centre of their world! What a wonderful woman and mother, many could learn much from her.
Tobi is a typical 16-year-old, desperate for the end of school and wondering what path in life to take. The hard-working people in Tobi’s tiny village struggle to make ends meet, while the kids can’t wait to escape to Budapest as soon as they turn 18. Against the challenges of an increasingly conservative Hungary, where trans rights are currently being stripped back, this insightful documentary generously shines a light on the journey of Tobi’s mother as much as Tobi themselves. Having come out once as male in his mid-teens, Tobi later shifts towards a non-binary identity. It’s a steep learning curve for the family to re-evaluate the deeply ingrained gender binary in this rural corner of Central Europe, but for this caring and communicative group, love wins the day.
Zorian Clayton, Programmer