Orpheus' Song

A [mere] 70 minute film...with the first 35 of those [precious] minutes resulting in...nothing. Quite literally, nothing happens...two 'straight' gym bunnies go to the gym! With the toxic one...taking selfies of himself.

Look...this seems to be a rather bizarre re-interpretation of that ancient [but, hysterical] joke: What's the difference between a straight man and gay man? Three [maybe four...definitely, five] pints of strong lager! Boom boom! Sadly, there's no out-of-control-bladder hysteria with this song by Orpheus.

Here, it's a quarter of a bottle of [cloudy] wine [each] and half of an enchanted pomegranate [each] [yes, you read that correctly]...and, suddenly, these two 'straight' [gym] bunnies are all over each other, on a beach, naked, licking sand off of each others' immaculate torsos. That's after they have encountered a thieving [ukulele-playing, cave-dwelling] Hercules and a mystical figure playing a flute in ill-fitting pants [was he Orpheus?]. And...[there's more], dealing with, quite possibly, the most offensive hotel receptionist ever to be employed [the young one, not the elderly gentleman] in the global hospitality 4**** hotel industry! It was NOT a 4**** hotel, no need to pretend it was!

Now...this [all] does seem a little harsh...but, Tor Iben has made quite a few films...seriously, it's time to [radically] improve or [permanently] give up. It's got to be said: Practice does not always make perfect.

On a brighter note...the cinematography was pretty good [in places].

Trailer...