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Lesbian Vampire Killers

Country: UK, Language: English, 86 mins

  • Director: Phil Claydon
  • Writer: Stewart Williams; Paul Hupfield
  • Producer: Steffen Aumueller; Vic Bateman

CGiii Comment

The fat, repugnant one isn't half as funny as he thinks he is...

The writing is not as funny as the writers hoped.

Due credit to the cinematographer, there are some very beautiful scenes - it looks good and that is the only complimentary thing that can be said about this expensive piece of nonsense.

Kids will love it - adults won't. 

This marks a sad day for British film-making.


Trailer...

The(ir) Blurb...

Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on the eighteenth birthday. On the present days, the clumsy and naive cuckold Jimmy is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best friend Fletch is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two friends are broken and decide to camp in the countryside to forget their problems, and Jimmy throws a dart in a map in a pub to decide where they should go. They head to Cragwich and when they arrive in the bar Baron's Rest, they see four hot girls leaving the place in a Kombi. The innkeeper offers the old Mircalla cottage in the woods for them, the same place the girls will lodge.

Cast & Characters

James Corden as Fletch;
Mathew Horne as Jimmy;
MyAnna Buring as Lotte;
Vera Filatova as Eva;
Paul McGann as Vicar;
Silvia Colloca as Carmilla;
Lucy Gaskell as Judy;
Louise Dylan as Anke;
Ashley Mulheron as Trudi;
Tiffany Mulheron as Heidi;
Emer Kenny as Rebecca;
John Pierce Jones as Landlord;
Emma Clifford as Ms Rossi;
Travis Oliver as Steve;
Susie Amy as Blonde