Central Intelligence

The(ir) Blurb...

Calvin Joyner was voted in high school the guy most likely to succeed. 20 years later he's an accountant. As his high school reunion approaches, he tries to make contact with his old schoolmates. And someone named Bob Stone contacts him. He says that he was known as Robbie Weirdicht in school. Calvin remembers that he was picked on, as a matter of fact after an extremely nasty prank he left school. They agree to meet and Calvin is surprised by how much he has changed. Bob asks Calvin to help him out. He says yes and the next thing he knows some men burst into his home. They're CIA, the one in charge is looking for Stone, she says he's a rogue agent. When they can't find Bob they leave. Later he approaches Calvin telling him, he is not a rogue agent, he's trying to find a person known as the Black Badger who is planning to sell some information that in the wrong hands can be disastrous. so he needs Calvin's help to stop him. Calvin's not sure whom he should believe.

This buddy comedy/spy mystery starring Dwayne Johnson and Kevin Hart is essentially a near two-hour gay panic joke that relies on the long-running homophobic “sissy” stereotype for most of the film’s intended punchlines. Johnson stars as Robbie Wierdicht/Bob Stone, a former high school nerd who was relentlessly bullied for his weight and has gone on to become a CIA agent who is believed to have gone rogue. He reconnects with Calvin, the captain of the football team voted most likely to succeed who once helped Bob against his bullies. When they meet up, Calvin is surprised to see Bob’s new body and visibly uncomfortable with Bob’s more effeminate mannerisms, seeming obsession with Calvin, and physicality as he hugs Calvin. At their school reunion, Bob gets together with Darla, another classmate who had been bullied for her looks. He strips down on stage to make a point about letting people see all of who you are, and after throwing his pants into the crowd, a male classmate catches them, yells out “yes!,” and fights with a woman who tries to take the pants from him.

The film attempts to make it seem as though they are in on the joke when Bob calls out the homophobia of someone attempting to start a fight with he and Calvin by implying the men are a couple, but ultimately Intelligence does nothing to address Calvin’s disgust at being complimented or touched by another man. The movie instead revels in this “humor,” that is both worn-out and simply unamusing.

We've really got nothing to say...the film made a bundle at the Box Office...worryingly so!