Cats

Yes...it really is as bad as they say!

But...why? Well...Cats - the [original] stage show - was [in the West End/ on Broadway] an incredible and artistic achievement in staging [for its time]...which [partly] concealed the production's major flaw...there is no story to Cats - well, this here film remedied that dire situation with a dire and tenuous storyline. Basically...all the cats introduce themselves...and then they re-introduce themselves by way of an audition within the parameters of a talent show. The winner gets to go to the Heaviside Layer...in other words: That unlucky pussy gets bumped off! What a cheerful premise...T.S Elliot must be screeching in his crypt.

This Cats is cheerless...and, when it tries to be cheery, it becomes thoroughly embarrassing...James Corden, Rebel Wilson. When it does sentimentality...yip, you've guessed it...it becomes thoroughly embarrassing...Ian McKellan, whatever were you thinking? Taylor Swift pops in and out. Idris Elba puffs all over the place and Dame Judi can't sing.

Is there anything good? Well, the choreography looked as if it might be pretty nifty...but, Tom Hooper's camera never dwells on anything for more than a second. The whole thing is shot and performed at break-neck speed...which is a blessing: The faster it goes, the sooner it ends!

$95,000,000 down the drain. How many homeless strays would that amount of money have housed?

Trailer...